Where I am Headed

My flippant, nonchalant manner of living does not bode well. Taking the ever-changing waves of life into consideration, the fact that I rarely take heed to the potential consequences of each decision I make in the midst of each breath I breathe is not a good sign. Something needs to be done about this.

I always tell myself that today will be the last day I engage in idleness, along with any other maladaptive behavior pattern for that matter. I fall in the habit of repeating to myself, “tomorrow will be different. I can start anew then.” Almost as if it were my life’s mantra, I carelessly repeat such words in attempt to convince myself that I will finally begin to change.

There is no need for me to go into the details, as this applies to different areas of my life, areas which the magnitude of importance may vary. Though I could definitely be wrong, I feel as though it is safe to say that I am not alone in this experience.

Time moves fast. It is honestly mind-boggling how the years begin to pile on, particularly after graduating high school. Each and every day that goes by, I become increasingly aware of how closer I am to meeting my end. I do not mean to be morbid; I am just making note of how quickly time does pass us by.

I intend to take this realization into account. Desperately wanting to take it to heart how little time there is, I wish to make the most of my time by attempting to find and employ meaning in whatever it is that I do. My intentions are to be a man of my word, someone reliable that holds fast to their convictions and principles.

Indeed, it is now only my unyielding, merciless resolve which keeps me moving.”

The Count of Monte Cristo; Gankutsuou

Rome was not built in a day though. Not to be cliché or anything, but it takes time to grow. The process of self-development is by no means an easy one; we never stop growing. Goals can be attained, yet I doubt that there is ever a point where one reaches complete, unaltered satisfaction–especially when it comes to oneself.

I am not making much sense at this point. My aim is to just make it clear that I desire to grow, somehow further my will and resolve. I intend to live my life with some semblance of purpose–regardless of how that may seem to others. Although I cannot say in practical terms what that will look like, I am thoroughly convinced that it is indeed a worthy pursuit.

At any rate, I want to actually bid relevance to this blog post’s title: “Where I am Headed.” When it comes to life and death, I do not know where I am headed, but I am going to do my best to walk down that road with integrity.


In terms of where I am heading with this blog, I desire to write on a more regular basis. If I don’t manage to write every day, I would at least like to write 3-4 times a week. This is, to me, attainable.

I have got a ton of stuff in my closet (i.e. my library) that I have yet to read. Once I am able to catch up with some other priority reading and watching, I will begin consuming the works that I own personally. I will definitely be writing about that. Also, I may do some analyses of some greentexts that I stumble upon on r/4chan, r/greentext, etc. that happen to pique my interests.


If any of that interests you, stay tuned.

Take care,

Joe

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