Do It, Regardless

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I am not so sure myself where exactly fear stems from. It is a feeling as old as time. This impulse is not something unique to human beings, as animals in the wild have glimmers of it when being hunted by predators. Though, I should say that their “fear” is somewhat different than the fear that is specific to human beings.

Not sure if I can point it to a single person, but it has been said (by a number of different people, I am sure) that everything we do in this life–every decision we make–is the result of either fear or boredom. These two impulses are comparable to the different sides of a coin; one is heads, the other is tails.

Whenever one experiences boredom, it drives them to pursue after anything. One might find themselves reaching for a book or picking up their phone and scrolling through their Twitter feed. Every individual has different habits, so it comes as no surprise that we all generate dissimilar responses when it comes to the internal turmoil that is boredom. Whenever uncomfortable feelings threaten whatever inkling of inner peace we have, we reach for external objects for the sake of keeping all of it at bay.

The same goes with fear, just as it does with boredom. Unlike boredom, fear is incredibly nuanced. It comes in many forms, and it manifests itself in numerous ways as well. As a matter of fact, I would say that boredom is nothing more than fear’s offspring.

Kierkegaard illustrated the human phenomenon of anxiety best when he called it “the dizziness of freedom.” The human experience, life itself, is nothing less than overwhelming. Througout the course of our lives in the modern world, there are far too many options. The possibilities are endless; because of this, we often are enveloped and trapped within an endless spiral of anxieties and worries.

“What do I want to do with my life?”

This question is one that haunts many. It is a question that many of us will take to our grave without ever having it be answered. I honestly feel there’s a good chance that this will be the case for me when I meet my end. There is nothing wrong with this being the case, not necessarily anyway. In my unsolicited opinion, it is an inquiry that need not be answered.

Our lives are not a question to be answered; rather, they are an authentic experience to be endless pursued. We have way too much time these days to sit around and think. As a result, we tend to contemplate our meaning more often than those in past ages.

This is not to say that this is something that should be overlooked. No, we are meant to seek out the meaning of our existence. We are supposed to ask questions, but this should not be viewed as an end in and of itself. These questions are to be the means to the end of translating our lives into lives of conscious and intentional action.

These thoughts of mine derive from the inner feelings I have been experiencing, as of late. I guess they are omnipresent, at this point, but they have been discouraging me from different pursuits of mine outside of work. Hobbies mostly, yeah.

I do not intend to sound like a pompous, privileged ass; I just want to get my thoughts out on this page because it does bother me. I want to be able to pay homage to different creative pursuits in my life, without feeling the need to have to justify myself within my own mind. All I want to do is do the things I want to do, while maintaing the fruits of those labors: enjoyment in the present moment.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I want to be able to experience joy within the present moment, as if I were a child again. When you’re a kid, you do not think about what you might gain or accomplish by doing something. The only thing that is on your mind is the act itself, enjoying it in that moment for its own sake.

I just want to write for the sake of writing. I just want to read for the sake of reading. I just want to talk for the sake of talking. I just want to watch for the sake of watching. I just want to do for the sake for the sake of doing.

The best thing that I can do, I guess, is to focus upon the controllable within my own life. There is not much to be gained from the contemplation of what I should have done yesterday. There nothing to gain from the lamentation that I did not begin pursuing this or that earlier on in my life. All I can do, all any of us can do rather, is to do our best with what we have in the here and now.

Whatever it is that we want to do, whatever it is we want to try to accomplish, we should at least attempt it. As long as we have breath within our lungs, we still have a chance. However cliche it may be, we have to seize the day while the opportunity remains. That’s what we are meant to do. As for me, I am going to attempt to grab hold of this and stick to my guns on this one.


I apologize for the cringe in this post. This is just the culmination of my own thoughts, particularly during these past couple weeks. I know there is no growth without resistance, but it does get annoying when it seems like that there is nothing but endless resistance within the mind. It’s difficult not to wonder whether it is meant to be this bad within oneself.

At any rate, if you read this, I appreciate your time. Hope everything is going well for you. Just know that we will all make it, regardless of the obstacles. You can do it.

Take care,

Joe

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